Afterthought

Sitting here with a feeling. Strange thoughts overcoming me, going through my brain but not really registering. What is this when it comes to it?

What happened that made this day different from the other days, what was it that changed the energy around me, something new, and yet so old. Returning to old haunts, but in a new way.

Is this what would be called to break free and let go of the past? Or is it merely a natural step that had to happen no matter what? Is it accepting that some things will never happen and it is time to move on?

I don't know, it's impossible to tell. Logically it feels right. But my heart broke, or perhaps I just poured more salt into that wound. The wound of impossibilities and dreams, of what can never be, of a hope that is lost.

Am I a fool or am I wise?

It's not possible to say, is it? Only time will tell. And even when you wait out the time, you can never know what would have happened had things been done differently, if something else had been the case, another step taken, a new location.

But I will never know. I will never know if I did things in foolishness or right.

Ah, the wonderful curse of life. We do never truly know what is right or wrong. Not when it comes to reaching our dreams and finding them.

My thoughts are of you, they will always be. My heart is with you, it always will be. But I think the pain is less now. At least for today. We can't predict tomorrow after all.

Did the dream disappear?